Under The Skin
by Lashana Inferno
Summary: Harem Universe:: After another failure in the search for a cure, will Zelgadis finally realise that his chimeric looks are only skin deep?


**Disclaimer: Lashana-sama only owns herself, Telca, her dragons, Tvashtar and Kadrith.**

_Note: This fic was inspired by a Zelgadis Fanart by Julie Dillon._

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"Fore!" 

Lashana automatically dropped to the floor at the yell, wincing as something rebounded off the wall, shattered a vase, dented the ceiling, broke a blade off the ceiling fan, then shot down to impact against the back of her head, thwacking her face against the floor.

She was knocked silly for a few moments, her thoughts whirling in mixed pain and disorientation. It wasn't until the bright spots in her vision cleared that she blinked and glanced over at what had hit her, a barely muffled yelp leaving her when she saw the disfigured shrunken head lying beside her.

"Aw, Lashana-chan, you ruined my swing!"

_Oh, forgive me great annoying one._ "What," she growled. "The hell. Are you doing?"

Xellos smiled. "Sore wa himitsu desu!"

Disgusted, she slowly got to her feet, using the nearby end table to steady herself as she rose a hand to rub at the growing bump on the back of her head. "Ugh, why couldn't you play your stupid game _outside?_"

"Where's the fun in that?"

Sighing, she glanced down at something that was resting against her foot, and she frowned down at the shrunken head for a moment before grabbing it and shaking it in Xellos' direction. "And where the hell did you get the peabrained idea to play golf with a _shrunken head!_"

"Sore wa himitsu desu!"

_Why do I bother?_ Shaking her head, she threw the head at him, then shuffled into the kitchen, muttering her low opinion of Mazoku who liked to turn already questionable sports into perverted and sometimes potentially lethal lessons of survival.

Kang looked up from where he was standing in front of the stove and frowned at her. "What happened to you?"

"Xellos. Golf. Shrunken head."

"Oh, _joy_."

"Mn." Keeping one hand against the bump she now sported, she walked over to the fridge and rummaged in the freezer with her free hand until her questing fingers landed on a very familiar well-used ice pack. Her prize in hand, she elbowed the door shut and went to sit at the island counter, sighing in relief as she held the ice pack against the back of her head.

The kitchen was silent except for the sound of Kang stirring whatever he was cooking, and it was only when the rich wonderful smell reached her that she gave him her full attention. "Whatcha cookin'?"

"I'm reheating some of the stew Duncan made last night." When she gave him a look of complete horror, he chuckled and shook his head, knowing that she had missed dinner the night before. "No. It's alright. It's actually very good."

"But... I thought Duncan wanted to keep trying that one recipie his mother used to make over and over until he got it right. That was why he kept making those weird-ass dishes all the time."

Kang nodded. "Apparantly he finally admitted defeat. Especially after Kenshin got food poisoning."

"I remember that," she murmured, glad that between her and Telca they had enough knowledge of Healing spells to nip the poor Samurai's sickness before it got to full strength. Still, the stew _did_ smell good... "Can I try some?"

"Sure." Smiling, he tested the stew to make sure it was hot enough, then divided it out into two bowls, moving to sit across from her as he placed her bowl and a spoon in front of her. "Dig in."

She set the ice pack down and eyed the stew. It _looked_ normal. It _smelled_ normal. It _wasn't_ crawling out of the bowl. Steeling herself, she dipped her spoon into it, took heart that the utensil did _not _melt upon contact with the stew, then, before she lost her nerve, shoved the spoonful of stew into her mouth. Every fibre of her being was prepared for the worst, what it wasn't prepared for, was the fact that the stew was _really damned good._

The draconian laughed at the look of shock and wonder on her face. "Told you."

"Oh my freaking Gods! This is great!" Her headache forgotten, she set about devouring every bit of her stew, ignoring Kang's surprised looks as she fairly licked her bowl clean.

He arched a brow ridge at her, wings twitching as an outward sign of his amusement. "Hungry much?"

"Shaddup," she retorted, lightening the snapped comment with a smile as she got up to put her bowl in the sink. "Tvashtar and I were out all damned night hunting for a rogue Mazoku that turned out to have been summoned by some idiot group of snotty teenage girls that had been mucking around with ouiji boards and spells from a Black Grimore they had found in an attic. Apparantly, summoning demons is the new 'fad' for sleepovers. Gods, the shrieking. If I hear one more sentence that contains more than one 'like' or 'y'know' or 'whatever', I swear that I'll go postal."

"I'll be sure to remember that," Kang deadpanned, chuckling when she rolled her eyes at him. "So. Have you heard about, Zel?"

"Eh? No. What happened?"

"Seems he got his hopes up about some rare spellbook he heard about in some out of the way dimension."

"Oh dear..."

"Yeah. Not only was the book a complete crock, seems he got his ass handed to him by the temple sorcerers."

Worry rose in her. "Did he go see Beast down in the infirmary?"

He shook his head. "Last I checked, he's still locked in his room. We sent Wolverine to go check on him, but he got _Mono Volt-_ed for his efforts."

"Gee, I bet _that_ went over well."

"It took Black, Kadrith and I to keep him from clawing the door apart. And it wasn't easy." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as he licked his spoon clean, then smirked. "By the way, don't touch the plaster on the walls in the hallway upstairs. It's still fresh."

Lashana sighed and shook her head. "We'll have to chip off a sample of paint to get a perfect match when we repaint."

"Actually, I told Wolverine he'd be repainting the hallway but that you'd be the one to pick a new colour."

"Really?" A rather evil smile spread over her lips as she looked at him. "Damn. I do believe that Telca and I are rubbing off on you."

A shudder ran through him from his snout to his tail tip. "There's a disturbing thought."

"Ha ha." Ignoring the mock horror on his face, she went about starting the coffee maker and then scrounging around the fridge for some sort of comfort food. She was used to helping her guys with their low moods. Mostly because they had helped her deal with her own bouts of depression. Still, she worried about Zelgadis. She had thought that he had come to terms with his chimeric appearance. But now, finding out that he had had his hopes smashed once again...

The coffee maker chimed, and she looked up from her inspection of the fridge, closing the door as she turned and inhaled a breath of the fresh brew with a slight smile. "Ne, Kang?"

"Yeah?" He twisted on the stool to look at her, frowning at the worried expression on her face.

"What dimension did he go to?"

"I'm not sure. He didn't tell anyone where he was going, or that he was even going period. He just showed up last night around eleven looking like someone had beat him with a sledgehammer, went right to his room and locked himself in," he replied, seeing her eyes darken as she mulled that over. "You gonna go try to talk to him?"

"Try being the operative word." She poured the coffee into a good pot and then searched through the cabinets until she found both Zel's mug and one of her own. The pot and mugs went onto a small tray, and was soon joined by a bottle of Tylenol. Knowing the chimera's love of Krispy Kreme donuts, she emptied box they had and added the half dozen donuts to the tray. "I'll see you later."

Kang frowned and watched her leave, not liking the knot that was forming in his stomach. Zelgadis wasn't known for his tact or control when he was in one of his funks. More than once, he had lashed out at everyone around him, not physically, but with words. Using everything he knew about the people in the Harem against them. It was his attempt at pushing them away so that they couldn't help him. Kang only hoped that Lashana knew what she was doing, because Zel knew enough about her to really hurt her.

"Ne? Zel?" Balancing the tray with one hand, Lashana lightly knocked on the chimera's door with the other, frowning when she didn't hear any movement within. Something inside her told her that he was aware that she was there, but that he was choosing to ignore her. _After all these years, you'd think he'd have figured me out._ "C'mon, Zel. I brought fresh coffee. Lemme in."

When he still didn't answer, she tried the door, sighing when she found that it was locked. Grumbling, she pulled an old library card out of her jeans and used it to jimmey the door open, frowning when she had to forcefully shove it open. She found out why when she poked her head in to discover that Zelgadis had trashed his room. Everything was either upended or destroyed, and she sighed as she stepped in and closed the door behind her.

Pieces of what used to be a mirror cracked under her feet, and she fought back a bought of tears as she looked around the room. The blankets and sheets that had been on the bed were ripped to shreads, and the mattress looked like it had been gutted. The pillows had been torn in half lengthwise, every drawer on the dresser pulled free, it's contents thrown to the floor and the drawers smashed. It looked like a wild animal had torn the place apart, or someone that was hurting so much that they didn't know any other way to show it.

The wall behind the mirror had deep imprints from fists, and the various decorations such as amulets, paintings and statues now lay shattered on the floor. The small yet high end stereo system looked like it had been smashed to bits with what seemed to be a piece of the bed's frame. CDs lay snapped in two on the floor amongst the two halves of what used to be a desk.

The only thing that looked to be intact were the drapes that were closed, cutting off almost all light from outside. She found Zelgadis by sound instead of sight. He must have changed clothes when he got home because he was wearing clean pyjamas consisting of black pants and a short sleeved top. His head was buried in his arms, his knees almost tucked under his chin. And it wasn't until a piece of glass broke under her other foot that he looked up at her, one hand covering the right side of his face while he peered at her through the long bangs that partially obscured his left eye.

His usual bright sapphire gaze was dull and empty, tears still clinging to the small stones that framed his eyes and jaw. But it was the sight of tears that had yet to fall that broke her heart, along with such a look of agony that it almost made her avert her gaze from his.

Instead, she picked her way across the worst of the mess, set the tray down in the first semi-clear spot she saw, then went to kneel next to him, ignoring his attempts to push her away as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. Despite the fact that he was a good few inches taller than her, his current slumped posture allowed her to tuck his head under her chin, carefully resting her head against his purplish wirey hair as she hugged him.

He went very still, and it wasn't until she tightened her hold on him did his composure break. Unbidden, his breath caught in his throat, a lump forming there. He fought to drive it back down as he had done so many times before, but this time it was simply too much for him to bear. New moisture formed in his eyes, and he was forced to take another breath, except this time, it came as a very audible sob, the first of many that he was powerless to stop.

Tears brimmed her own eyes as he seemed to crumple into himself, his soul-deep shudders and sobs shaking them both to the core. "Oh, Zel. I'm so sorry," she whispered as she held him, holding him as tight as she could as he wrapped shaking arms around her and clung to her.

She had never seen him like this. Ever. And it frightened her. The only thing she could do was try to comfort him, even though she was very aware that whatever comfort she could give him wasn't enough to heal his many emotional wounds. "I'm here, Zel. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." She rocked him a little as his arms tightened around her even more, and it was pure instinct to protect the ones she held dear that made her raise a hand to the back of his head and cradle his head against her heart. _I'm so sorry, Zel. I wish I could help... _

With the room as dark as it was, and with the clock lying in multiple pieces on the floor with a few circuits imbedded in the wall for good measure, she had no idea how long she held onto the sobbing Zelgadis. It was only when his sobs gave way to exhausted hiccups that she allowed herself to turn a bit of her attention off of him, raising a hand, palm up, as she summoned a ball of soft, warm light, enabling her to better see both him and her surroundings.

He didn't move as she leaned back a little to look at him, her frown increasing when she saw a large dark indentation in his usually smooth chimeric skin on his left shoulder. Her worry growing, she cupped his head in her hands and gently forced his head up, her heart wrenching when she carefully brushed aside the wirey hair that usually covered the right side of his face and uncovered another serious bruise.

"Oh, Zel..." she breathed, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his. "Why didn't you tell me?" Her own tears joined his as she concentrated and then rose a hand to his face, running her fingers over the bruise as she let the Healing spell wash over him. She repeated the spell on what appeared to be a broken collar bone, and then on his shoulder. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

Still remaining silent, he merely shook his head, eyes still closed as she hugged him again. He was worn out, exhausted, and while everything in his mind was telling him to push her away, he was tired enough to admit that he didn't want to. Taking the comfort she was offering, he wrapped his arms around her again and lay his head against her shoulder. "There's nowhere left to look... It's hopeless... I'm going to be a freak forever!"

She frowned at the morose tone in his voice and sighed as she carefully rested her cheek on top of his head. "You're not a freak, Zel. You're not. I know you don't believe me, you don't believe anyone who tells you that, but it's true."

"No it's not! _Look_ at me!" Infuriated, he pushed her away and looked down at his right arm, fingers curling around a bump of rock that was imbedded in his skin. "I'm a _thing!_ I don't even look human!" He snarled the last words and ripped the piece of stone out of his flesh, a wordless scream of rage leaving him as he threw the rock aside and curled his fists around handfuls of his hair, moving to rip them out too.

And he would have too, had Lashana not cried out and grabbed his hands, tears running down her cheeks as she fought to keep him from harming himself. "_Yamete!_" When he tried to shove her away again, she slapped him across the face, yelping when white hot pain lanced up her arm. Cradling her hand against her chest, she rose her gaze to Zelgadis again, who was looking at her in complete shock, one hand pressed against his cheek. "Baka! Do you think I'm so petty? So heartless that I would lie to you? Especially when you're hurting!"

When he didn't say anything, she averted her gaze and sighed. "I'd move the Sea of Chaos itself if I thought it would help you. But it wouldn't. Don't you realise that it doesn't matter how you look? How superficial it is? Do you think Telca and I and the others are so shallow that we'd lie to you about something as important to you as this?" Her bangs fell into her eyes as she spoke, and she irritatedly brushed the white locks aside as she looked at him again, angry tears clouding her vision. "And the worst part is that you don't realise that you're not ugly, or a freak. If Telca and I didn't beat fangirls away with a stick in order to give you Guys a peaceful life, we'd all be overrun! You're a fuckin' bishonen, Zel, and you're the only one who can't see it!"

Sapphire eyes widened in surprise before he hesitantly rose a shaking hand to her cheek, this thumb brushing the blood off a shallow cut there, where his wirey hair had cut her when he had pushed her away. A blue glow flowed from his fingers into her skin, the cut knitting itself together until the wound was no longer visible, and he frowned at her as he reached for the hand she had cradled against her chest.

"I... It's hard for me to look at myself and see... _me_," he told her as she placed her hand in both of his, and he lowered his gaze from hers as he wove another Healing spell, lightly massaging her hand to ease the stiffness there. "Rezo... He tricked me into this body. I look at myself and I see the monster Rezo turned me into. I see his evil, and I see his manipulation, and his selfishness. He wanted someone to do his dirty work, so he corrupted my wish for power and turned me into his pawn. He even interwove a spell into this... into _my_ body so that he could control me. It's not easy for me to see anything except what he created..."

"Then maybe it's time for you to see life through someone elses eyes, hmm? You've spent all this time hating _what _you are, and no time on _who_ you are." A weak smile spread over the elf's lips as he finished the Healing spell on her hand then released her, and she glanced around for a moment before grabbing a piece of blanket and turning back to lightly dab at the blood that was still flowing from the wound on his arm. "You're not a monster, and you're not a pawn anymore. Rezo's _dead_, Zel. Let this misplaced hatred die with him."

"It's not that easy," he whispered with a shake of his head, ignoring the tingling and mild itching in his arm as she Healed the ulcer there. "It's been _years._"

"I never said it was going to be easy," she retorted as she turned her gaze to his hair, where the wirey strands were bent oddly where he had fisted his hands around the purple lengths. Sighing, she carefully reached out to straighten the kinks out of them, being careful not to cut her fingers on the sharp ends. "I was just saying that maybe it's time to let it go."

A long tired sigh left him as he leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes as Lashana continued to straighten his hair. "Maybe it is. Maybe it is..." He inhaled a breath of air, then cracked an eye open to look at the tray that the elf had brought with her. "Is that coffee?"

"Yup. Don't know how hot it is, though."

"Mm." He sat forward and pulled the tray closer, pouring a mug of coffee for Lashana and himself, glancing at her when she gave up on his hair and sat back on her knees, a huff of exasperation leaving her. "It's okay. I'll fix the rest of it later. Here."

She accepted the cup of coffee with a smile, then shifted to sit lotus style next to him, taking a sip of the dark liquid. "I stole the last Krispy Kreme donuts, too."

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he plucked one of the the sweet treats unto his free hand and bit into it, the donut practically melting in his mouth. Krispy Kreme donuts were his favorite, and Lashana knew it. It was usually what she used to entice an explaination or a conversation out of him, although at the moment, he knew she was just trying to comfort him. "Arigato."

"It's okay," she replied as she held her mug in her hands and lightly rested her head against his shoulder. They sat in compainiable silence for a while before she sighed and looked at the remains of his room. "If you want, tomorrow I'll bring you shopping for a new set of bedroom furniture. There's a sale at The Brick. You buy a bedroom set and you get a free DVD player and a free twenty-seven inch TV. And I'll get Wolvie to put a fresh coat of paint on the walls. He's repainting the hallway, a few more walls shouldn't phase him too much."

He frowned and looked down at her. She was staring down into her mug of coffee, her fingers tightening around the porcelin for a moment before relaxing again. "Lashana... I..." Unable to put the whirlwind of emotions that were going through him into words, he sighed heavily and shifted to put an arm around her shoulders, resting his chin on the top of her head as he gave her as strong of a hug as he dared. "Thank you."

The thick emotion in his voice told her that he was choking up again, and she leaned into his hold in response, feeling his arm tighten around her a bit more. "You're welcome, Zel-chan."


End file.
